A Vampire is a Girl's Best Friend

A Vampire is a Girl’s Best Friend

See, my mother’s favorite all time film is the Godfather. American Movie Classics loves to show Godfather parts one and two back to back and I know what she will be watching and I know she will be making pasta and sauce for supper. I always loved the first scene of Godfather one. “I love America,” says Amerigo Bonosera. He is weeping because some slight has been done him when he went to seek justice for his daughter. From the very first time I ever saw the GF, I have liked this notion, that no slight goes unseen or unpunished. You could go to your Godfather and he would console you and he would understand and not judge either party. It was only a matter of business after all.

I know everyone has had this feeling, this desire, this lust, to have a little revenge. To see a long hated or a freshly acquired hated enemy undergo some form of retribution and the victim, and you know who you are, is totally blameless and the act so random, no one would ever be able to connect you. See, I am a writer, and I think about those things.

So here we are in this world, and we are among the new Family, full of traditions and nuances and rituals that are strange and exotic. They may not burn the picture of a saint in the palm of their hand but they have a loyalty to the blood. And that makes it even more interesting. Because it is all about the blood, right?

Now, being a Christian, you are taught: Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord; I shall repay. And He does, but it comes in His own sweet time, and sometimes, Lord, the wait is so long. So you look around to see who else might be interested in your cause. Who would be strong, impersonal, nonjudgmental, calming, listen to your plea and look into matters. Going through the usual channels, seeing what the neighbors know. And it could be that you sit down in their office, sitting face to face, a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other and you talk calmly about the situation your situation is in. If you are just an acquaintance, he may speak in a voice as normal as the voices you have been using in your discussion and two associates would appear as by magik and they would be told to take care of this small matter on his behalf, a gift to our friend. And, marching papers in hand, these two associates would turn on their heels to do their master’s bidding with an air business like detachment. Because it is only a matter of business after all. But if you are a friend, an intimate, things might be handled more personally.

Or, perhaps it is in a less formal setting. A low lit room, sitting close, intimate. Perhaps you are afraid, maybe uncomfortable, and he embraces you and listens to you and he is calm, so very calm, and you relax, but only because you cannot see that something settled look on his face as he decides to take care of business for you. Take out some trash, so to speak. That is what you do after all, take out the trash and dispose of it. And it is done professionally. Everything is discrete. Because in the end, it is truly a matter of business.

But, that phrase is always taken out of context. In the book The Godfather says “Everything a man does should be personal.” And Vampires take things very personal. Ask Royce. Ooops, you can’t ask Royce, he is out with the trash. Okay. Ask Bartlett. Dang, can’t do that either, he sleeps with the fishes. Okay, so the only ones you can ask are the Vampires. And they might tell you, but ask yourself, do you really want to know what goes on in their heads? What machinations might be working behind their shiny glittering eyes? Be careful because they may tell you. Then it really is personal.

Because they know a human life is so short, so fragile. That is perhaps what they love about us, beyond the McDonald's factor, that is. They love our brevity because we live life as fully as possible. We love stronger, feel more, drink and eat with gusto, have sex with more vigor, fight with passion, and believe or disbelieve in the God or Goddess of our choice with fervor. And if a Vampire finds us interesting and even loves us they love what we love, they believe somewhat in what we believe, and they hate what we hate. They cry with us, sometimes, if you can coax it out of them, laugh with us, they conspire with us and they dream with us. And us with them. But most of all, they feel our slights.

Now, a simple petty matter of just hard words might be handled with a quiet word and a piercing look and the offender will move out of state to get the fuck away from you. But a crime? Let me tell you something. Vampires believe in the Old Testament. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, blood for blood. And may God, your God, my God, anyone’s God, have mercy on their blighted souls because a Vampire has none. They carry out justice without concern for appeals or apology. You have been tested, tried and found guilty in the strange court of a Vampire’s heart and there is no hope for you. Abandon it because you are in the jaws of the beast and your soul will be the last thing that screams. And it screams forever. Hell is full of gnashing teeth and wailing cries.

So, forget about diamonds and furs and fine cars and fists of money. These things are not a girl’s a best friend. A Vampire is a girl’s best friend.