True Blood Quotes

So many to list...



I have gout of the dick- Jason

Just cuz me and Jesus agreed to see other people doesn't mean we don't talk from time to time - Lafayette


Post your faves!

My personal favorite......"You have vampire in your cleavage"

Humans, honestly Bill, I don't know what you see in them...- Eric

My personal favorite "Smite me mother .......!"

Renee

"Tip yo' waitress."- Lafayette

"Hi, daddy." -Jessica

"I've been to heaven, it was inside your wife"- Jason Stackhouse
"Trust me"-Eric Northman
"PIG!!!"-Andy

So many more, just can't remember them all.

"ever since you walked in here with that big ole bag of crazy"

"I recon I done been to heaven.............And it was inside your wife"


Not a direct quote but when the line "Smells like sex and candy" played when Jessica walked into Merlottes.

"All you needed to do was ask me to hold the AIDS" - that whole scene with Lafayette was awesome

"Your hair is like a sunset after a bomb went off...It's pretty"- Terry

"Good night tiny humans"-Eric
"These are my favotire pumps"- Pam
"We need to be out of control, we crave it" - MaryAnne

Ok , just to name a few:

"I can smell the sunlight on your skin" ............(gets me everytime!!)

"Ok, whats with the egg? Did you lay it?"

"Its in the bible moron....So Jesus made the first vampire?"

"I love the smell of nail polish in the morning"


There are so many more wonderful "quotes", thanks to the brilliant writing!!

"Evil is making the pre-medicated choice to be a d**k." - Jason to Luke S2-Ep4

"God will make sure evil gets punished."-Luke to Jason S2-Ep4
"Yeah, than explain Europe to me?" -Jason to Luke (The confusion on Luke's face was priceless)

You gotta love Jason!

"Then go to Romania and in live in a cave, you ranchero poser!" - Isabel to Stan S2-Ep5

"Wherever I am, there will always be women." - Eric S2-Ep5 (That Viking is definitely right about that!)

Some of my peeps are in the middle of a TB marathon and I keep hearing these lines.

Lafayette to Eric, Pam, and Chow: "If I gotta Jew's chance at an Al-Queda pep rally of gettin' my black ass up outta this muthaf....., then I'm gonna take it. Now whatchu wanna know?"

Sara Newlin to Jason: "You're just like Judas!"
Jason: "Why? What'd he do to ya?"

Luke to Jason: "You think you walk on water."
Jason: "Nah, I'm pretty sure that was Moses."

When Sara choots Jason in the groin with a paint gun, Jason moans, "Oh, sweet Jesus."

Eric after he tricked Sookie into sucking bullets out of his chest: "A tiny falsehood."
She pounds his chest and shouts: "You big a-hole!"
Eric: "You're right. I think I can sense her emotions."

Lorena: "F.... prohibition!"

My personal favorite is anytime Bill says: "That will not be necessary."

Some great Eric quotes...

How would you like to learn how a real vampire feeds? — True Blood, S1×11 To Love is to Bury

Oh, Billy. This paranoia is really quite unbecoming. Has she… mentioned me? — True Blood, S2×11 Frenzy

Your shushing won’t do any good, sweetheart. — True Blood, 2×01 Nothing but the Blood


Sookie: Where were you tonight around 11:00?
Eric: Here with Yvetta.
Sookie: Doing this? For the last six hours?
Eric: You seem surprised. Is Bill’s stamina not up to snuff? — True Blood, S3×1 Pack of Wolves

Eric to Sookie: "Don't use words you don't understand." "Don't use words I don't understand."

Darling, you can nail my ass anytime. — Eric from Dead and Gone

Sookie: Eric, what are you doing here?
Eric: Snuggling. — from Club Dead

What happens in Shreveport, stays in Shreveport. — Eric from “Dracula Night”

"F**k a zombie!" -Pam, Dead in the Family

"I think you know very well what I will give you. I think you love me to give it to you." -Eric, Dead in the Family

Sookie to Maryann:

"I'm a waitress..what the f*** are you!"

I love it, has me ROFL everytime!

My favotrites are

Eric: I texted you three times. You didn't respond.
Bill: I hate having to use the number keys to type.

Bill: "I'M NOT ERIC!"
Jessica: "You're SOOOOO not Eric."

Arlene: "The fine will be one hundred million dollars... and your pants."

just to name a few

"A silver cross? Really? Eric Northman is a thousand year old vampire. That means he was 6 foot 5 in the year 1000 A.D. What kind of inbred moron do you have to be to think a dinky piece of silver could bring down a force of nature such as that? Sadly it’s the kind of moron that seems to grow on trees down in Bon Temps." ..Pam from Season 2 bonus clips

"Conscience off, d**k on." - Andy S3-Ep1

"I'm in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight Pam." - Sookie S3-Ep1

"I hear the water in Arkansas is very hard." - Bill

"What am I thinking about right now? You know in my brain" - Jason

"Is this Sam Merlot?" - Audrey Fisher
"Sam is fine." - Sam MerloTTE.

"Sookie, no, stop, come back" -Pam

"Holy sh-" Sookie after seeing Eric swivel away on Yvetta

"I'm sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, but really, who here hasn't" -Arlene lol

"I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to, and also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.” Pam...she is utterly awesomeness!

I loved this one! I'm jonesing like mad.

OMG on the Viking's rear beauty-ness. That man could melt ice in the dead of winter. I literally shivered seeing how he moves, woot! Melty melty LOL

"Hoyt, if you and me are gonna be roommates, there's a certain amount of pussy overflow you just have to get used to dealing with" ~ Jason

Classic!!!

Renee